


Days Gone By

by Zipties_and_Tripods



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Gen, after it all, anger and tears, graveyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 02:17:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1328230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zipties_and_Tripods/pseuds/Zipties_and_Tripods
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been over for Tim. But an old face returns and brings up old fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Gone By

     Tim walked across the thick, green grass, the ache in his leg forcing him to go slowly. The old pain had come back to stay that day and it served as a constant reminder of his failure. It was a nice day with only a faint chill in the air as winter gave way to spring. A few minutes later Tim arrived at his destination. He knelt and brushed away the debris that had collected over the small stone marker. Then he lay the small bouquet down next to it. He stood silently for a moment, collecting his thoughts, then began to talk.  
     “Hey buddy. I’m still at the pharmacy, stocking shelves and all that. Whatever keeps me busy," he said, "There’s been this guy coming in every Saturday at one ‘o clock on the dot. He buys himself a candy bar. He calls it his weekly treat for staying clean. He showed me his one year token yesterday.” Tim rocked on his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s two years today. I haven't had a smoke in two years, I know you always hated them.”  
     It was true. Tim had thrown away his cigarettes the next day, it just hadn't seemed right to continue the habit. He still craved one every now and then but had never given in, not once.  
       
     Tim knelt, touching the smooth-cut letters, “I miss you Jay.”

     It had taken Tim six months and a lot of loans he was still paying back to buy the tiny piece of ground and the stone. The day he saw it in the grass made it all worth it. A weight had lifted off his shoulders and he had breathed a little easier. Closure, his doctor had called it. Tim had visited every month since then without fail.

     Tim ran his fingers over the stone once more before standing and brushing off his pants. As he turned to go, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. A person in dark clothing stood on the path. Their head was bowed, leaving their face in shadow.  
     “Sorry!” Tim called, figuring they wanted some privacy, “I’ll get out of your way.” With one last glance at the ground, he set off down the path towards the parking lot.

     “Tim.”

     Tim stopped cold, his blood turning to ice in his veins. That voice, no, it couldn't be. Not here, not now. Slowly, he turned.  
     The figure had lifted their head, revealing a face Tim had hoped he would never again see outside of his dreams.

     At first he was speechless as he stared at Alex, his mind reeling. Then, hot anger coursed through him and he clenched his fists.

     Alex took a half step back and raised his hands to his chest, as if to show he was unarmed, “Tim please, I just want-” he was cut off as Tim shoved his shoulders. He lost his balance and landed on his back, knocking his breath away.

     “What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Tim seethed as he stood over Alex.  
  
     Alex flinched but made no move to get up. He avoided Tim’s glare, instead fixing on his shirt. “I just wanted to talk, to explain.”   
  
 _"Explain? Talk?_ ” Tim almost laughed, “That’s rich coming from you. You sure you aren't just going to shoot me? Seemed to work well for you last time and hey, we're in the perfect place for it too!”

     “Tim,”

     “Shut the hell up” Tim growled. “Get out of here. Now.”

     Alex finally raised his eyes and Tim was surprised to see them glassy with…tears? Was Alex crying? “Tim please, just listen to me for one minute.”

     “Why would I do that?”

     “Because I didn't shoot Jay!” Alex yelled desperately.

     Tim stared at him incredulously. His anger was growing with each passing second and he wanted nothing more than to end this once and for all. “The fuck you didn't. I know what I saw on that tape.”

     “It wasn't me! I mean it was me, my body, but I wasn't in control.” Alex shuddered visibly, “That, that _thing_ made me do it.”

     A spike of fear ran down Tim’s spine and he looked around automatically, as though expecting _it_ to be there.

     “I could see everything; I just couldn't do anything to stop it.” Alex continued as he pushed himself into a sitting position. He looked pleadingly up at Tim, “I was a prisoner in my own head.” Alex buried his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake.

     Tim didn't know what to say. This wasn't the Alex he knew, this broken shell of a man. Tim couldn't help but partially believe him. He knew from experience about not having control of your own body and what that _thing_ was capable of. But still, this was _Alex,_ the man who had led his friends, and almost Tim, to their deaths.

     “What are you doing here?” Tim asked him carefully, “It’s been two years, what do you want?”

      Alex laughed bitterly, “For you maybe. I was still _its_ slave up until three months ago.”

      Tim recoiled. Three months? That wasn't any time at all. He looked around again, fully expecting to see someone or some _thing_ watching them.

     “Tim?”

     Tim narrowed his eyes and took another step back. It was a trap, it had to be. There was absolutely no other explanation for why Alex was here. “ _It_ just let you go?” Tim asked suspiciously.

     Alex slowly pushed himself to his feet, watching to make sure Tim didn't push him down again. He stood there awkwardly, worrying the hem of his jacket. “I woke up to only my own voice in my head. Blissful silence. I haven’t seen it since. The headaches are going away.” He suddenly clenched the fabric in his hands. “I’m starting to remember things, awful things. Brian, Seth, Jessica, you, Jay.” His voice cracked on the last name. “I spent a little time with my parents, but I knew I needed to start trying to fix things.”

     Alex tentatively took a step towards Tim, looking him in the eye. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I fucked up your life.”

     Tim knew it wasn't completely Alex’s fault, it had been that _thing._ Some of it even could be put on Tim as it could be his fault any of his friends were involved in the first place. But Alex stood in front of him now, trembling slightly and he seemed so, broken. Everything about him was the opposite of what Tim thought he knew Alex to be. The anger in his eyes had been replaced by shining tears. He fingers continued pulling at the fabric, almost to the point of ripping it. As a whole he seemed smaller and powerless. 

     Tim nodded once.

     Alex seemed to relax in relief and the corner of his mouth twitched, “I’m also sorry I made you be in that god-awful movie.”

     Tim snorted at the unexpected words, “It _was_ pretty bad.”

     The two stood in awkward silence. The cool breeze blew leaves around their feet and rustled the trees overhead.

      “So, you going back home now?” Tim asked quickly. Despite the apology and his appearance, being around Alex still put him on edge. One apology couldn't really erase the years of fear and isolation.

      Alex hunched his shoulders and said quietly, “You’re not the only one I need to talk to Tim.”  
     Tim glanced to where the stone was set into the ground, a few feet off the path.

     “May I?”

     “Why are you asking me?” Tim said gruffly.

      “Just feel like I should.”

      Tim shrugged and turned away, trying to hide that he was shaking. “I don’t decide that.”

      “Thank you.”

      Tim heard Alex’s shoes crunch on the gravel then the softer footfalls as he stepped onto the grass. He waited in silence, trying to get his emotions under control. This was too much at once. The anger was mostly gone and was now being replaced by the fresh grief seeing Alex’s face brought. The undercurrent of fear he thought he had left behind in that last hotel room was back and threatened to overwhelm him. He ground his knuckles into his leg, trying to alleviate some of the pain.  
     A strange noise reached his ears and Tim looked over his shoulder.

     Alex had dropped to his knees and was curled into himself, his arms wrapped around his chest as he cried.  
     Tim slowly approached and stood a little ways behind the man.

     “I’m so sorry,” Alex choked out between sobs, “so fucking sorry. You didn’t deserve any of it.”  
     Tim cleared his throat softly.  
       
     Alex flinched and scrambled to his feet, hastily swiping at his eyes and almost knocking his glasses to the ground. “I’ll go now,” he said quickly, “I’ll stay away too. You won’t see me again.” He tried moving past Tim.  
     Tim reached out and caught Alex’s sleeve. “Do you want to grab something to eat? You look like you need it.” _What was he doing?_  
     A look of shock passed over Alex’s face, “What?"  
     “I know a great place a few blocks from here.”

     Alex paused before nodding gratefully, “Ok, sure.”

     The two of them took one more look at the stone before setting off down the path. They walked slow, their shared grief passing between them. The past still hovered over them like a black cloud, but at that moment it seemed a little fainter, a little grayer. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ~


End file.
